Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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