is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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