why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
