Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
