I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
