Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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