I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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