I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
