remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
