I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
