you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
