She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize