I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
