My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
