all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
