I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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