ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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