I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
