I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize