thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
