Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
