Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
