I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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