Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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