i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
