bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
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