The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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