Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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