I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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