70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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