I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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