Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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