well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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