We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
