I think i peed on brittanys purse
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
