I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize