....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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