Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
