this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
