..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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