i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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