Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
