does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Someone shit on the floor
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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