the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
