we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
