have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
