Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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