i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize