No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
