o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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