So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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