my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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