There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
