I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
