I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
