I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize