Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
