So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
