My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Randomize
